Lunar Loathe: My Anti-Moon Manifesto!


When Neil Armstrong made his giant leap for mankind, it sent a ripple of excitement through the world. It seemed that the sky was no longer the limit; mankind had set its eyes on the cosmos. The moon, that giant, silvery orb in the night sky, felt almost within reach. Yet, here I am, firmly planting my feet on the ground and saying, “Thanks but no thanks, moon.” I know, it’s a controversial stance, especially for a guy who’s in love with technology and excited about the future. But stick around, and I’ll unpack my lunar aversion.

Ground Control to Major Nope: Unpacking My Lunar Aversion

First off, let’s talk about the journey. It’s not as romantic as Bowie made it sound. I mean, I’m all for a good road trip but floating around in a capsule for three days, void of gravity and munching on vacuum-sealed space food doesn’t exactly tickle my fancy. And then there’s the small matter of the launch. I get anxious when I have too many tabs open on my computer. Can you imagine the stress of sitting on a massive rocket filled with thousands of gallons of fuel that’s about to be set on fire?!

Secondly, there’s something to be said about the beauty of our own planet. Have you ever seen a sunset on a beach, or watched snow fall softly on a quiet city street? Now, compare that to the moon’s surface, a desolate landscape filled with craters and lunar dust. I’ll take my cats, my vinyl records, and my cozy little corner of our stunningly diverse planet any day. I mean, I like a good monochrome photograph, but living in one? Nope.

Houston, We Have a Problem: The Downside of Moon Travel

Alright, so we’ve covered the personal, let’s get into the broader implications. Space travel is a colossal drain on resources. We’re living in a time where our own planet is groaning under the weight of humanity’s footprint, yet we’re diverting billions into shooting rockets into space. I’m not saying science and exploration should grind to a halt, far from it. I’m just suggesting our priorities might need a realignment.

And let’s not forget the practicalities of life on the moon. Our bodies have evolved for life on Earth, with our heart rates, bone density, and even our eyesight adapted for life under the pressure and gravity of our home planet. Simply put, we’re not built for moon living. I’m not keen on floating around my habitat because I casually forgot to strap myself down. I’ll take my gravity-assisted life, thank you very much.


So, there you have it, folks. As much as I love to dream and push boundaries, my lunar aversion isn’t grounded in fear or lack of ambition. It’s more about cherishing the home we already have, you know, that Blue Marble that we’re all spinning on. Let’s turn our innovation and resources towards caring for it. And as for me, I’ll keep enjoying my digital photography, spinning my vinyl records, and cuddling my cats, all from the comfort of good ol’ planet Earth. Ground control to Major Nope, indeed.

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