In the market for an otherworldly keepsake? Feast your eyes on my genuine, once-in-an-afterlifetime soul! Previously enjoyed, yet still chock-full of artistic ambition, dad jokes, and an undying adoration for all things spooktacular.
This soul has seen its fair share of life’s adventures, from capturing time in photographs and splicing moments in films to navigating the chaos of raising two future heartbreakers (AKA boys). It’s survived marital bliss, countless family movie nights, and even the daring feat of starting a record store in the scary world of ‘over 40’.
Devoid of sibling rivalry but filled to the brim with tunes and cinema, it’s a well-rounded soul with just the right amount of ‘cool dude’ vibes.
Redeemable upon death, it’s an afterlife bargain – and a fabulous ice-breaker. However, we can’t guarantee its functionality on the other side (last we checked, there’s no tech support in the underworld).
Please note: Final sale. As with all soul-related purchases, buyer assumes all risk. It’s like buying a haunted jukebox – thrilling, unpredictable, and a definite head-turner.
Why wait for the afterlife to kick-start your spectral collection? Secure your slice of the ethereal pie today!
Disclaimer: This product is meant for jests and jollies, not actual soul transactions. We hold no liability for any spiritual hiccups, existential meltdowns, or sudden infatuations with classic vinyls. Should you experience a heightened appreciation for dad humor or an insatiable urge to start a boy band, please consult your nearest paranormal professional.